did dodge a bullet by not making the cut for the soundtrack? on one hand, yes. but then… not good enough for shrek?

i’m trying to eat my icecream but this shitpost of a cat is crawling all over my face trying to get to it first

srsly tho i want my cat to be my best man at my wedding

hands down this is the most important picture i’ve seen all year or maybe in my life

i guess owning a pet possum is sorta dicey. maybe i’ll just lure one into my backyard to eat my trash

i’ll call him “Garbage Man Jim” and he’ll gnash his little teeth at me whenever I wave out the window

me: “How are you, Garbage Man Jim?” jim: *voraciously chewing on an empty Poptarts box*

my cat likes drag himself along the underside of the couch with his claws at top speed like it’s some sort of olympic feat

then he galavants around the house like a spring pony and bites all the other cats ankles. he is a dick but i love him

i guess all my ice cream is gone and i gotta get up in the morning for work so i should go to bed now

but maybe i’ll just tweet about it instead.

3:01am; gets distracted and walks around the house carrying a block of cheese, slowly nibbling at it

tired cardboard


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